“…or lose it.” I tested this proverb for 7 months, intending to take a break from numbers (TW), maximizing efficiency, analyzing every detail, and wanting to take control of my perspective to improve my chances against the toil for perfection (Remember when Solaria Chip tried posting everyday? Then I trained nonstop for over 2 months into my first marathon. I just love to send it).

After my marathon endorphins settled, I was out of a job for more than half a year back in California, so any semblance of a structured schedule just seemed unnecessary (among other “excuses”). I spent 7 months trying my luck in the declining job market and not doing much else for my poor little neurodivergent mind. My anxieties could probably be best reflected throughout the Diaries: 1910-1923 of Franz Kafka:

“This month, which, because of the absence of the boss, could have been put to exceptionally good use, I have wasted and slept away without much excuse… Even this afternoon I stretched out on the bed for three hours with dreamy.”

I spent so much time with my cat, Stone, sleeping and eating together. Physically, I gained almost 1.5 Stone, and mentally, I endured another test of my will to be. Stone the cat gives me biscuits on my fluffy bod, but my clothes were starting to not fit for the first time. Still,

“I didn’t want any new clothes at all; because if I had to look ugly anyway, I wanted to at least be comfortable. I let the awful clothes affect even my posture, walked around with my back bowed, my shoulders drooping, my hands and arms all over the place. I was afraid of mirrors, because they showed an inescapable ugliness.”

I went from running, weight lifting, rock climbing, kayaking, to occasionally getting sunlight from walking Stone or our dog. In any case, the newfound suppleness didn’t bother me as much as the limitations I often liked to push myself to.

The principle of “use it or lose it” isn’t a novel idea, but my experiment in utter deterioration has poised a self-reevaluation on the importance of neuroplasticity.

As for my athletic capabilities, my pace suffered, while my endurance and overall mileage completely tanked. Jumping back into the numbers and data, my VO2 max was 50 in June 2024 according to Garmin data (but not updated as of yet). After 7 months I could barely run the minimum of 5 kilometers I’d normally be doing on a daily basis, stopping often and channeling my best Jeff Galloway. After a week of Run Walk Runs, I finally picked up the barbell inside a gym. Typically, I’ve been able to push my personal record the most with back squats, at 116 kg (255 lbs) while maintaining 18% body fat. My comfortable high-rep range is around half at 60 kg, popping squats for one plate (20 kg) easily. After losing 7 months of muscle, I lost 60% of my maximum strength. My epic gym training-arc comeback was marked with struggling to hoist the plate onto the bar and farting out 5 pathetic reps before worrying about my spine under decline.

At the molecular level, the muscles are the most adaptable tissue in our body. Musculoskeletal and nervous system adaptations meet in the middle with motor learning, which was possibly reflected by a poor running form or cringe-worthy squat. It was clear I had a lot of losses, but the human body has so much potential. Ultimately, the mind and body are meant to burn energy and they are connected.

I hoped to make another measurement of deconditioning with language learning when I was practicing Spanish everyday for a few minutes, but in anticipation for travel, I’m now learning にほんご! Prioritizing languages has always been difficult: my neuroplasticity was drastically changed when I came to the United States from the Philippines at 8 years old and stopped speaking Tagalog to absorb Oxford dictionaries and the best English grammar and writing book. In high school, I perfected my uvular fricative in French enough to get me by at the cafés in Paris. Sometimes, when I forget a Spanish translation, my mind seeks some sort of French-Latin amalgamation. In programming, Python is fairly intuitive, but since I go through long periods of time without needing to use it, I forget many things. HTML, on the other hand, which I taught myself from designing Gaia Online profiles as my first pseudo-hustle in elementary school, is always easy for me to pick up where I left off. I love the English language for its prose and writing, which is what I intend to practice more of as we rekindle our project Solaria Chip.

My overall creativity with drawing and painting has suffered over the years, since I took on less projects that required it. It was a skill I honed at a young age with pleasure, when children especially are able to mass produce their imaginations to crayons and paper. Without too much practice now I’m merely a poser, demanding references and having to dig deeper for original ideas. I mainly drew pretty women, so that’s what I can do without much effort. Long term, I wonder if it would have an impact on my clamor for aesthetics, if I ever stopped making art.

Exercise, language, creative outlets, and skill-building activities utilizes your brain’s cognitive function that improves its neuroplasticity. By The Defining Decade’s standards, I’ve had a bit of lag from failing to assert my goal. The response from these actions conducts your brain in a constant state of learning, which is the most important principle not for the sake of longevity, but purpose. This is just my story that I have the privilege to share and use writing as a tool to form another method of loci engaged in active learning and creation. Always stay curious, always stay a student, always be in wonder, and always be learning. Gain knowledge and create from experience. Follow the principles that let you do this. I like “use it or lose it” because it’s short and sweet that sends a good message, like our future posts as Solaria Chip breaks out of hiatus for a year! 🎉 Thank you always for supporting us!

“Every day at least one line should be trained on me, as they now train telescopes on comets…” - Franz Kafka, The Diaries: 1910-1923